Sunday, 8 May 2011

Emotional Dehydration

I know it is fine to accept that I am still human and i do miss my beloved ones, but what if my beloved ones don't miss me ? I know i voluntarily withdrew from all the relationships to pursue a bigger goal, I accept that I am of the view that emotions and relations are impediments in my way, at least for now.
When I look around when I analyse; the only thing I am sure of is nothing actually matters.I am reminded of the famous poem madhushala..... yes the stars leave the sky but sky never cries for them.
Fall,autumn,winter, spring.....all are bound to come....destined to come.. we just cant ask almighty that I dont like this season to please don't let it come.
I wonder how and why we just want to avoid somethings like a bad phase in a relationship or the stage of being lonely. Nietzsche was right....anything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. 
I have been wrong in asking for only the pleasant experiences,otherwise how would i knew that i have been in love with the wrong one ? Now at least I know that what kind of friend i definitely don't want.
We must tell ourselves that if we do not figure in somebody's priority list then he/she should not even be there in our options list as well. 
Its our life and we have to make decisions that we want to be the winners and hero in it or we want to be losers,cribbers and all what nobody wants to be but end up being one.
Yes i prefer emotional dehydration than moist eyes.I prefer to be stoic. I prefer u being non existent than not being mine. 
I prefer to be at the top alone than being with the crowd of losers at the bottom.I refuse to have tiny and petty aim of just being yours, no i have lots and lots of other things to aspire for.
Everything said and done...I am wondering that why i started writing this ?? Because you did what you are best at doing : "tried to hurt me". You know how much I loathe ignorance and thats precisely why you do it. 
One thing is clear that we both know each other too well thats why we can hurt each other the most.
But my dear  enough is enough , I am hurt but I am not suffering. This wound will also heal but it will leave yet another scar, now i take them as souvenirs of my lost battles...the battles which i must avoid in future....the emotional stuff which is not my forte. 
Yes your absence have not   killed me so it must have made me strong. 

" nahi ho tum wo jis shakhs ki mujhe talash hai...
 khudi se jo mujhe milwa de aise farishte ka pata chahiye"

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