Balance of tears and smiles !!!!!

With every drop of tear that comes in my eyes.....

some of which i shed in solitude ...and rest of them which are swallowed..

I curse the moments when i was not me....

With every memory that relates to you....

some of which make me feel loved...and most of which reminds me of a emotional fool that lived in me once...

I feel sorry for the heart that cried....

With every moment that passes without you....

some of which are not so happy ...and most of which are actually sad....

I feel that i can at least live without you ...if not happily....

With every passing breath that assures me of life...

some of which are habitual ...and most of which are actually sighs...

I feel you are going away...away till a point of no return....so far away that i wont be able to see you even with my eyes closed....not even in my dreams or nightmares....not even in recent or distant memories...not even in dark or light....not even in love or hatred....

soon you will become a known stranger....someone whom i knew i can never know....

soon you will become part of the world that does not know me...that does not belong to me...

because you will never try to come back....because you will never value the air..or water..or anything which u get without an effort.....

and that day i will be be happy...as happy as i can be.....just because after sometime I will realize that you were not the reason for my happiness... but I am....that nothing worth possessing can be possessed ....that its ok to shed few tears now as you are gone.... because you gave me few smiles when you were around !!!! :) :)