Khoobsurat Khayal....

Ek zindagi hoti hai jo khyalon me hoti hai...
kya haseen hoti hai...kya khoob hoti hai.....
aur ek zindagi hoti hai jo haqiqat hoti hai....
agar kismat achhi hai to jeene layak hoti hai....
na to bas kya kahoon ki kya hi hoti hai...
aksar sochti hoon ki agar khayalon wali us zindagi ko jeena pad jae to wo bhi badtar ho jaegi...
is duniya me  kisi khyal ka aana use kharab kar hi deta hai.....
yahan bhagwan ke avtar bhi aate hain to unhe marna padta hai...
ab khud ko hi soch lo ...kya the tum aane se pahle is duniya me...
ek khoobsurat khayal...ek umeed maa baap ki khushi ki...
aur agar sab ki maane to koi hai is duniya me jo tumhare liye bana hai..aur shayad tumhare intezar me bhi ho
shayad uske bhi kuch khayal honge tumhare liye.....
khud jaante ho ki tum wo khayal nahi ho....
kisi aur ka to chodo tum khud ka khayal bhi nahi ho....
mauka mile to tum bhi khud ko badalna chahoge...kisi khubsurat khayal ke sath...
aisa nahi ki mauke milte nahi....aisa nahi ki tum thoda bahot khud ko badalte nahi....
par wahi fir se hota hai....dimag ka nikla khayal jab sach ka roop leta hai to badsurat ho hi jata hai....
aur tum fir se apne aap ko badalne ki jarurat mahsoos karte ho....
itna sab sochne ke baad dimag me ye aata hai ki 
banane wale ka khayal kya tha hame banate samay....kya jo sab ho raha hai wo hame us sachai me tabdeel kar paega jo wo hamse chahta hai ?
kya ham kabhi ye maan payenge ki ham wahin hai jo hame hona chahiye ?
kya jo bhi hai ...jaisa bhi hai wo insaan sahi hai ??
kya ham sab kamiyon ko bhool ke  ya fir ye maan ke ki unhe badla nahi ja sakta ...ek dusre ke sath tahjeeb se nahi rah sakte ?
kya thodi kam khoobsurat sachai ek behad khoobsurat khayal se achi nahi ??
kya jo nahi hai uske liye rona itna jaruri hai ki jo h use dekh ke muskuraya na jae ??
koi sawal nahi poocha jo jawab mile....
koi jawab hai hi nahi jo mile....

zindagi !!

ek waqt aisa bhi tha jab ishq tha ...aur tu saath bhi tha...
ab to jo hai bas naam ki zindagi hai..
kuch lamhe aise bhi the jab ehsaas tha...zinda hone ka...
ab to bas sab batate hai ki main thik hoon...
ek waqt tha jab haqeeqat sapno se badh ke thi...
ab to jo b hai bas ek bura sapna hai...
ek waqt tha jab khuda se kuch maangne ki jarurat nahi thi...
ab to poora jahan maangu to bhi kam padta hai
wo jo ek shakhs tha tu jo mera apna....
wo jo ek umeed thi jo meri apni thi....
ab to jo hai bas ajnabee hain...
tha kuch aisa tere pass hone se.... dil ke darwaje pe dastak sirf khushi deti thi...
ab to jo bhi hai sirf dard sa sannatta hai ....
na jane kyu taseer badli hai waqt ki..
na jaane kyu tu bhi uske sath badal gaya hai....
ab to jo nahi badla wo sirf meri muhobbat hai 
ek waqt tha jab is muhobbat pe naaz tha....
ab to jo bhi hai wo sirf ek sawal hai ki maine aisa kyu kiya apne sath...
chahe jo b hua...jo bhi aage ho...
ab to jo bhi hai ye waqt hai jisse mujhe umeed hai !!!!

Dikkat hai !!

Paidaish se pahle hi maa baap ko mere ladki hone se dikkat hai...
 Main 18 saal se kam hoon to mujhe apni choti umar aur allahdpan se dikkat hai ...
aur agar main 25 se jyada hoon to mujhe har wo cheej chahiye jo mujhe jawan dikha sake..
Agar mere physical dimension  aur proportion curvy nahi hain to main badkismat hoon...
mujhe push-up lingerie aur botox ki jarurat hai...
agar main thodi bhi bharma gayi hoon to maine jeene ka haq hi kho diya hai....
ab mujhe khana peena chod ke marne ke intejar ki jarurat hai
Bhagwan ne zulm kiya hai mujhe sanwla rang deke...
ab to mujhe apne chehre se aur har nazar jo mujhpe padti hai us se dikkat hai...
lekin agar kuch jyada gora bana diya to wo b koi baddua se kam nahi....
mujhe golden hone ke liye tanning ki jarurat hai..
Ab khoobsurat hona hi sab kuch nahi hota....
mujhe apne jaan pehchaan walo  ke mujhse ameer hone se dikkat hai
Oh aaj to main saj dhaj ke bahar nikli thi...
agar kisi badshakal gareeb ne ghoora mujhe to wo badtameej hai..
lekin agar stylish metrosexual dude  mujhe dekhe to wo tareef mujhe pasand hai ..
Mujhe inspire  nahi karti Kiran Bedi ki mehnat aur uska iconic hona...
par roadies  aur splits villa ka hissa na ban pana mere liye suicidal hai
Main kaun hoon ?? Main hoon bhi ki nahi hoon ?
Haan main aajkal hi har ladki me dikh jaati hu...
Haan main duniya ki soch hoon..
aur mujhe is soch se dikkat hai !!

Tijarat ya Ishq ?

Kal main khush thi..aaj nahi hoon..

fark sirf muhobbat ka hai...

kal tak sab kuch khubsurat tha duniya me....aaj kuch b nahi hai,

fark sirf tere na hone ka hai

waqt tha jab har shay ko faayde nuksaan me dekhti thi main b ....

aur aaj sab kuch kho ke b khush hone ka haq mile to kam lagta hai..

kisi mehtaab k liye apne  shams ko girwi rakh diya ..

zindagi ki kuch pal ki kadwahat kam karne k liye...

tujhse jhuthi khushi ka mitha zeher le liya 

apne aapse naraj is qadar thi ki khud se qabil tujhko maan liya 

koi mujhe be-waqoof tajir kahe to koi achha aashiq...

fark sirf lafzo ke fer ka hai....

main badal gayi hu teri pehchaan se pare....par tu waisa hi hai....

fark  mere insaan aur tera sirf ek yaad hone ka hai

aaj bhi apne aapko galat maan lene ki himmat nahi..

aaj bhi tujhe ek kamtar insaan maan lena zurm lagta hai

mamla ek padri ke kaafir hone ka hai 

ab tu hi bata ki main khud ko kya kahu....

ek tajir jise sauda karna bhi na aaya ...

ya fir ek aashiq jo muhobbat ne siwa kuch ni jaanta !!

Balance of tears and smiles !!!!!

With every drop of tear that comes in my eyes.....

some of which i shed in solitude ...and rest of them which are swallowed..

I curse the moments when i was not me....

With every memory that relates to you....

some of which make me feel loved...and most of which reminds me of a emotional fool that lived in me once...

I feel sorry for the heart that cried....

With every moment that passes without you....

some of which are not so happy ...and most of which are actually sad....

I feel that i can at least live without you ...if not happily....

With every passing breath that assures me of life...

some of which are habitual ...and most of which are actually sighs...

I feel you are going away...away till a point of no return....so far away that i wont be able to see you even with my eyes closed....not even in my dreams or nightmares....not even in recent or distant memories...not even in dark or light....not even in love or hatred....

soon you will become a known stranger....someone whom i knew i can never know....

soon you will become part of the world that does not know me...that does not belong to me...

because you will never try to come back....because you will never value the air..or water..or anything which u get without an effort.....

and that day i will be be happy...as happy as i can be.....just because after sometime I will realize that you were not the reason for my happiness... but I am....that nothing worth possessing can be possessed ....that its ok to shed few tears now as you are gone.... because you gave me few smiles when you were around !!!! :) :) 

My mark sheet....not good enough for the final list...but still...jaise b hain...apne karam hai :P :D

Missing parts of the puzzle !!

Kuch nahi h jiski kami hai 
 Jo h wo aisa nahi ki gair zaruri hai 
 Ek aisi neend mile jo mere bachpan ki yaadon me hai sirf
 Ek aisa din mile jisme sirf khushi hi ho mere har lamhe me 
Ek dost mile mujhe apne aap me jo kabhi mere sath tha  
Wo insaan jo ab kho gaya h ya pata nahi naraz hai mujhse 
Nahi chahti ki kuch asaan mile 
 Par koi jung mile jiska lakhsya bada ho Jise jeet ke main apna bhavishya ban paun 
Wo aakhen mile jo sapne dekhti h aur wo himmat mile ki unhe poora karun
 Wo shabd mile jo mera haal bayan kar paaye 
 Ya fir koi mile jo meri khamoshi samjhe 
Wo hawa mile jo aandhi banti h 
Wo lehar mile jo samandar ko hilati h 
Wo roshni mile jo chaunka de 
Wo pyaar mile jo poora kar de 
Wo dua qabool ho jo harsu maangti hu 
Wo bharosa mile ki mera hona apne sath hi kaafi h 
Wo shuruat mile jo ek nayi zindagi de 
Wo ant mile jo khushi de 
Wo khuda mile jo insaan ko samjhe  
Ya fir main Wo insaan banu jo khuda ka kiya sab sahi samjhe
 Is zindagi ki pahadi ko chadhte hue mehnat k chhale mile
 Har hissa mehnat se lahu luhan mile 
Jitne insaano ko de paaun khushi ki zindagi  Utni hi chain ki saans mile 
 Itna mushkil b nahi hoga in sab ka milna mujhe Agar mere khoye wazood mujhe tu mile !!