Sunday, 29 March 2015

The "woman"

Not so long ago when the past was perfect, Eros and Celeste were a happily married couple.
Celeste was the woman he loved enough to get married at a young age of 27.
For Celeste , Eros was the definition of a man. He inspired the woman inside.Celeste could rely on him for everything and anything, and she did. She gave herself to him for the rest of her life.
Their life was changing fast. First moving to the new continent and then moving in to new life of togetherness.Celeste was hopeful and happy in true sense of the term. The most beloved fairy tale  came true. She had the man she loved, a man whom any woman would want. The man whom she wanted to look at forever,  the man who would pick her up if she dint want to walk,the man who was there when she needed him the most or slightest.
The romantic moments were too many to count.One of her favorite and most common  was the walk over Brooklyn bridge.Many a times they were intoxicated with love and of course with more tangible means.The long kisses on the way, the mesmerizing scenic beauty of the beloved city,  there was nothing more she could ask for. She was satisfied because her life was in a moving equilibrium of ecstasy and love.
Eros loved her in a different way. He cared for her the most. He felt responsible to make her happy.
He was raised that way,it was the duty of a man to make the woman happy.But a man has other things to do as well. His first love was his work and his future. He got married because it was right thing to do for a man who wants to focus on work. Once you have a home and wife then nothing to worry about, he can  focus all his energy on work. He always had a vision, he wanted money,big money and a female to share his success.He never attached a face to the female figure. He never thought it was important.He wanted a classic success story of a happy man.He knew he was capable of creating one. He was capable in his work, he was passionate and gifted personally,it was as if woman could sense it.He always had the attention,even when he did not do anything to attract it.

They both worked hard.Came home to each other,did not do anything to hurt each other or break the spell of happiness. But something happened, Eros was too busy in his work and Celeste felt left out.Her only friend was going away,it was creating a emotional void that leads to domestic "fault lines".Eros was not to be blamed,he was going for the priority.He was trying to accomplish himself in the new world.Emotions could wait,work can not.He made himself clear.Eros told Celeste that she was expecting too much.

It was not a matter of days or months.It took them 5 years and marriage to realize that they needed different things from life.It was not to be blamed on each other.They did wrong things for right reasons.They did what seemed right.But it was not enough.And it was time they were thinking about separation.They did not have kids so that was a relief for Eros,Celeste rued the decision,if they had kids she could have had Eros for little longer or perhaps for ever.

Eros moved on, he already have someone to share his story with. She is a nice woman, different from Celeste in ways but the difference was not important, She was a female companion which Eros wanted.Her name was Katherine, she was beautiful and had a good heart. She was not a home breaker. She came in Eros's life and heart when Celeste was gone. It was her own place. She would not do that to a woman even for the man he liked. She was not sure yet that he loved him. How can you be sure to fall in love with a man who just left a woman he married ? She was confused, her heart told her that its not Eros's fault that the marriage broke.It was destined to fail may be, but at the same time she did not want to another failed affair. She could not love in half measure so she decided to love him the way she would love any other man, without prejudice, without judgments.

Celeste was all alone. She was still in love with the man she married. Although she was beginning to realize that Eros is not the same man anymore or is it that she never knew who he was ??
Celeste tried hard to win his affection back. She tried to remind him of the good memories and the unfulfilled promises. She fought with Eros to win Eros back but it was in vain.

Celeste and Eros were same in some way, they both were convinced that other one was wrong. Celeste knew that she was love of his life and no one knows him the ways she does. She had the history, she had the past, she had the ring on her finger to prove everything she believed in. She knew that somewhere she could find the man she married.

Eros knew that Celeste was wrong in thinking that he would go back. He thought of the married life as a barren land, nothing would grow there. It was over for him, he did not even think of Celeste the same way. He cared for her because he was the man but he did not feel the love.The same woman for whom he did everything right ceased to be of significance.
Every form of communication from Celeste was infuriating as he thought of it unnecessary.He was happy in his world, convinced that Celeste would realize soon  enough that he was not the one. She would find someone else like he did.

Eros was happy with Katherine but somewhere the specter of broken relationship was haunting him. He was not sure what he wanted to do when it came to Katherine. He knew that he did not want to get married, but what then ? Is not marriage the next and right step ?
He knew he needed a female companion on his journey to top...and again it did not matter who she was. He knew he did not love either Celeste or Katherine that much, but to him it was not important.

He was a man of business. He wanted perfection. He wanted to be respected for the work he does. He was not proud of the failures in personal life as to him it did not matter. Personal does not matter if you have success to show for it.

He was a good man in his opinion and that's what mattered to him.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Zindagi ko Zaindagi Hone de !!

Zindagi me ek aur hassen kissa khatam ho gaya ...
 hone de !!
Jo bhi khushnuma tha is dil me wo judai se dafan ho gaya...
hone de !!
Maine Ishq ka libaas jo pahna the barso se, 
Wo aaj mera qafan ho gaya...
hone de !!

Jaane kyu ishq ki saja-e-maut ke baad khuda kalam nahi tod deta...
Mera suli pe chadhna bada aam ho gaya !!

Meri umeed qayam rakh duniya se, insaan se  e khuda...
Ye kissa to har achhe ehsaas ka shamshan ho gaya !!

Agar sun raha hai...agar dekh raha hai...
To yakeen de...
muhobbat de...
Apni mauzoodgi ka ehsaas de,
Zidagi ko Zidangi hone de !!

Thought Train :)

Heart is young enough to fall in love 
and old enough to know that it does not matter !!
Life is nice enough to give us only one day at a time... 
and cruel enough not to tell the ways to handle !!
Things are simple enough if we understand them as such...
But the simplicity is mysterious enough to complicate !!


The way i feel when i hear your name...
tells me that i love you !!


Mera Janaza bhi teri zindagi se behtar hoga !!

Jo zakham nahi bharte waqt ke sath 
Shayad usi ko Zindagi kahte hain !!


Monday, 19 May 2014

For You !!

If I were an artist...I will make your portrait and that would be my magnum opus !!
If I were a poet...I would write a love song for you... and my words would touch your soul !!
Alas I am neither...
I am a  being of little significance and talent...
I cant not tell you how much i love you...
But I can show you...i can make you feel the love with every passing breath...
I can make you feel what you always wanted to feel...
If you allow me... i will live in your heart !!
So that you can see yourself the way i see you...
and you will know how beautiful you are !!
We will talk in whispers and sighs...
and you will know that i love you even more for your silly mistakes...
MY tender touch will rejuvenate the tired eyes...
You will feel life rushing through the veins !!
I can not promise forever...I may not be your every day...
But I will take you to the highest highs....and will make the lows ephemeral !!
I will not be like water which quenches your daily thirst...
But I promise the elixir which will take away the pain and sadness !!
I do not have much to give...
but I promise even the worst of you will have the best of me !!
I will be here always...beating in your heart...
Oh the ignorant owner of my heart ...I am the goodness inside you...
I am the love inside you...
You will always feel me...
You will always remember me...
Whenever you are in love...
Whenever you are happy !!

Friday, 18 April 2014

Angels and Demons !!

Its aching ... its bleeding...its crying...its dying...
Oh you foolish heart...you were longing for the disaster
You chose this fate when you showed up in this world of fake smiles with a honest laughter...
You started dying the day you chose to love unconditionally...
You lost your worth when you did not play the "game" right...
Oh you unseasoned lover...spontaneity is not required...
Here young and old "plan" to fall in love...
and yes it is procedural...certain layout according to the number of meetings !!
You chose self-slaughter when you told him the truth...
That you loved him since you first saw him !!
Oh you sinless conscience...you were doomed...
You should not be here in this zone of indifference...
I know you still can not hate...I know you will always choose love !!
Oh my hurt heart...I love you...
My endeavor will be to shield you from the world...
Promise me that you will not start  a voyage  alone...
Now we know it takes two to make it happy...
Stay strong my love...you have not done any wrong !!
The moment will come soon...
when he will realize that he lost a good friend in me...
Because i know him !!
 His pride even then may stop him from coming to me...
 but his heart will know !!
I am not the fragile one to be taken care of...
I am not the silent lover...
I am a woman...
I can take many forms !!
I could have been a  mother when he needed tender love and care...
could have been a passionate lover when we share sleep...
could have been a friend when he wanted to share a secret... 
could have been a  kid when he wanted to feel like a dad... 
And now I will be a witness...
Will watch him living someone else's life everyday !!
It will be painful to watch him age years in days...
It will be sad to see him pretend !!
I refuse to take the pain that comes with expectations...
I decide not to love him if it comes at a price of self-love !! 
Oh my Heart....
Lets forget the wounds...
Lets forget the pain...
Lets forgive the one who did that to you ...
In the name of love...In the name of love !!

Friday, 28 March 2014

Love !! :)

The question what I wanted the most always baffled me. I feel everybody should know what they want. I was not sad though because I knew I would soon find something or someone who will honor my life with his presence.
  When I first saw you, I knew that the wait is over. I have never been so certain. I dint want to let you go away from my sight even for a moment. I loved you as much I could love someone I met for the first time.
I was so enchanted by your brilliance. Every time I looked at you, it took great effort to take my eyes off. If it were possible I would have loved you more. Oh you amazing beauty.
I felt your gaze on me…
I treasured the nonjudgmental feel….
I am intensely in love with the way you express yourself…..soon we will start a chapter words will not be essential…and I will just know what you want to say….
 I like the multiple identities you carry with pride.
Believing in yourself.... Knowing unerringly what you want….Perfection from the ones in your life.
I will abide by your wish..
We will go a long way together..
Because I am you ....I believe in you and your dreams..

I love your mood swings..
The way you are all chirpy and nice in the morning..
I know your look when you don't understand me..
I like the pace at you work..
I love to see you in night..
All bright.... Full of fantasies..
Love.... Friendship.. Passion..
You have it all!!
You are in fact dream of so many of us lovers
I will love to spend time with you..
As much as I can
I get goose bumps every time i feel you around..
If am not with you am thinking about you..
Hold me tight..
Let’s love each other without any prejudices..
Let’s give each other the best we have to offer!!
I cannot tell you how much I love you..
But i can make you feel it ..
Love you!!
Oh you city beautiful
Oh my city beautiful
I am in love with you!!


Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Geographic Humanity

I was just wondering.... if the Geographic regions  were humans what they would be like ??

Europe : It is like a wise woman in 40's ......graceful... beautiful....can give any younger one run for money.... but knows it cant control time.....

America : Well its like an adventurous male in 20's ...... thinks and believes it can rule the world...it knows it all ....it makes mistakes and accepts them brazenly.... it believes in future....

Asia : It is like a middle aged uncle who was robbed..... once rich...very much proud of what he had....wants the past glory back.... has seen better days in youth but  knows all is still not lost....working hard to get it back...

Middle East : Unbelievably  beautiful young woman on drugs .... for her the beauty has been a curse....attracts wrong kind of company and attention..... 

Russia : A  irresistible genius .... a fastidious hedonist  .... a unpredictable  powerful angry beast !!

Africa :  A  man whose virtues and vices are not distinguishable .... lost in a big bad world !!

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Hum..Tum aur Zindagi

Har kadam sawaal poochti zindagi....
har pal jawab dhundhte hum....
har khushi ke liye imtehaan leti zindagi 
har imtehaan pe besabar hote hum....
har mudde pe jyada ulajhti zindagi..
har ghadi samajhne ki koshish karte hum..
har saans aage badhti zindagi...
har baar yaadon se jud kar pichadte hum..
har din naye mauke deti zindagi..
sirf ek zid se bandhe hum....
kitne naye sabak sikhati zindagi....
aur kabhi na sikhne wale nasamajh hum..
ek nayi umeedo ki umeed deti zindagi 
aur ek thokar pe aansu bahate hum..
har roj yunhi barbad hoti zindagi..
har roj khud ka qatal karte hum..
shehar ke sath surat aur seerat badalti zindagi ....
aur apne na badalne ko acha samjhne wale hum..
hamko khuda se jodne wali zindagi 
aur khud ko hi na jaanne wale hum..
zindagi ki hasraton ko nazarandaaz karte hum..
apni zarurato ke gulam hum..
hume apna sab kuch deti zindagi ..
muhobaaton ke badle khushi...azadi ke badle muhobbat..
 har baar bura sauda karte hum..
kuch pal ki yaadon ke liye apni sadiyan barbad karte hum..
bahot hua.. chalo dekhen
zindagi ko gale laga ke hum..
aao chale sath is zindagi ke hath thame zindadili se hum..



Friday, 6 September 2013

Why so Syrias ?

If Machiavelli  was alive today he would have a smirk on his face..a smirk implying " i told you so". Nobody agreed with him when he said human by  nature are wicked and ungrateful because we all try to feel good about ourselves.But when we analyze the state of affairs in Syria today we must agree that Machiavelli was not entirely wrong.Bashar Al-Assad is representing the evil half of humanity.Just for the sake of power he is killing his subjects, power is too addictive to let go. Its been three years now since Tunisia, the arab spring is making its presence felt in every dynastic/monarchy regime. 
Syrian rebels are part of a bigger tide,Assad's been ruling Syria for 40 years now.People in middle east today want to taste the sweet scent of freedom,equality and their every natural  right which has been denied to them till now.Why it is taking too long for Syrian rebels to oust Assad ?
Firstly Assad have strong cohorts, consociates who share the same fears, who feel that masses are meant to be ruled and democracy is "overrated". China has its own Tienanmen Square.Masses today do not want pseudo communism, they want freedom to choose their fate.China always plays the card of "no interference" and supports even the regimes of Myanmar and other states who have worst record of human right violation. Syrian civilians will keep dying if it is up to China, thankfully it is not. 
 Russia is no different,Putin is in office for 14 years now, the utopia of communism turned out to be a house of horror for masses.The communist regime is extremely corrupt.One party system is suffocating and the signs are visible on streets of Moscow.Ancillary reason for supporting Assad is business, Syrian government buys almost all its weapons from Russia.If Assad goes it will be a big loss to Russian arms business.
China and Russia if  allow International community to act in Syria today, tomorrow they can have the same situation at home.So its not about saving Syrian civilians life for the communists,it is about saving their own skin.
Now it comes to the state which defies every political theory of international relations,it acts as a whimsical  brat. Yes it is Iran. In international politics it is very common to be friends with someone not because you share same values but because you have common enemies; in this case Israel and United states.Iran knows that it can not afford a direct confrontation with USA or Israel.So to gain attention, keep Benjamin Netanyahu astir, they are supporting Assad.
The regional political equations in middle east today are nowhere even nearly balanced.Egyptians are busy in sorting out things from the Pandora's box which frequent regime change has opened.  Gulf cooperation council of Arab states is also not in a position to take a firm stand because the strongest players in middle east politics UAE and Saudi Arabia are monarchies. They have their own agenda, but at least they are criticising Assad publicly and he has no friends left in neighbourhood. 
 Lets consider the position of the hegemon, USA, Syria is no direct threat to USA ,but it is to their strongest ally  Israel. Inaction of Obama or going back on his words will give him and USA a badge  which he can't afford to have. It will become the question of safety for Israel. Obama administration must act. But it is also true that after Bush Jr.'s bluff about WMD is caught it is very hard for Obama to convince international community that there was use of chemical weapons.Another problem for Mr. Obama is that the Syrian rebel group may have some extremist groups fighting Assad's regime.But if we take Egypt as an example that should not be a problem because masses will not allow any wolf  in sheep's skin unnoticed.People of Egypt ousted Morsi too the moment he started showing his extremist tendencies.So all the masses need is arms to fight a unjust state, the revolution can't be questioned just because few deviants are supporting it. 
Today  Obama needs UN security council's support now more than ever because British parliament declined to support a military action, even french public opinion is strongly divided.But if  there is anyone who can convince the masses and international community about the morality and virtuousness  of military action, he is none other than Nobel laureate Mr. Obama. How can the world not remember that he is not a warmonger, he  is the same person whom they decorated with highest honour for preaching peace.
With power comes responsibility, but sometimes to prove that you are worthy of power you have to prove yourself,UN should also realise that if it truly wants to be respected as a legitimate international organisation than it should protect the people. Peace may not always be the answer. It is cowardice to let Syrian civilians die.  Gandhi, who was the messenger of peace, even he accepted that he will choose violence over cowardice. International community must act to save the innocent lives because if they won't who will ??

Saturday, 27 July 2013

On Modi as PM

I always have interest in politics....i love politics....the word has a different and very derogated meaning today but we must remember it is one of the oldest and respected subject....i mean otherwise why the politics is every where ?? because of my love and respect for the subject i took it as one of my optional subjects .... Learned lot many things,which i do apply while analysing any political scenario....
Why Modi ??
People are sick and tired of dark age of corruption....they actually see modi as the only way out....
The on paper Gujarat is a success story....
Rahul Gandhi or anyone else is not even a close competitor when it comes to charismatic authority of modi...
 Why not modi ??
In a diverse country like India where minorities are essential part of our Indian identity we can not have a PM like him.... He never apologiesed    for what happened in godhara....i am not saying Hindus were right or muslims were...but as a CM it was his duty to protect all of his subjects..he did not. I am in America right now and i am a minority....and i would really hope that when white people come and kill us for any reason we are protected by the state..
How can we chose a PM who can compare 20% of Indian population to a puppy. A good leader is supposed to preach harmony and spirit of coexistence not fundamentalism.
Sad part is not everyone is logical and just..
I feel sorry for this state of affairs.....we could have been better...we could have been more civilized.... We could have been more Indian. 
Jai Hind !!

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

zindagi jee ke dekhte hain

Ishq se aage badhke dekhte hain..
Ishq ko piche chhod ke dekhte hain..
Tere bin jee ke dekhte hain..
Kahin aur dil lagega nahi jaanti hoon..
Fir bhi koshish karke dekhte hain..
Zarooraton se haar ke dekhte hain..
Tere bin jee ke dekhte hain..
Sapno me to jiya nahi ja sakta
Chalo unhe sajae maut dete hain
Aur haqeeqat se haar ke dekhte hain..
Nahi tu saamne to kya hua
Ham aankhen band karke tujhe jee bhar ke dekhte hain
Mumkin nahin ki tujhe pyaar na karun..
Fir bhi majbooriyon se haar ke dekhte hain..
apni hasrate apne aap se hi chupa kar dekhte hain..
Kya hone wala hai jaanti nahi hoon
Par jo kuch ab tak hua hai usse kuch seekhke dekhte hain..
Apni hasraten apne aap se hi chuppa ke dekhte hain..
Apne dil ko bolte hain chup chap baithe.
Apne dimaag ko bhi aajma ke dekhte hain..
Suna hai duniya me karne ko bahot kuch hai
Chalo ab tumhare siwa bhi kuch aur soch ke dekhte hain.. 
Tujhe to ilm bhi nahi meri halat ka
Na tujhe koi fark hi padega jaanne se..
Chalo aaj ham bhi tujhsa hoke dekhte hain..
Bade din hue  aansuo ko bahe 
Chalo aaj roke dekhte hain
Chal aaj fir khuda ko aazma ke dekhte hain..
Chal aaj fir tera pyaar maang ke dekhte hain
Jhuthi umeed ke hathiyar se kaise koi ishq ki jung jeet sakta hai
Teri berukhi ka zahar ab asar kar raha hai..
Tum to kabhi miloge nahi to ab kya fayda ladne ka 
Ishq ki ye jang   haar ke dekhte hain..
Ye jo bhi hai zindagi to nahi lagti 
Ye jo sajae maut hai ise kaat ke dekhte hain !!
Pyaar se kab kisika dil bhara hai
Chalo pyaar se nafrat karke dekhte hain..

Monday, 18 February 2013

zazbaat

" apni umar wo chhupaye jo jiya nahi hai "

"teri kahani aur mere tazurba-e-ishq me farak hai..
tujhe meri zarurat hai...
aur mujhe..
sirf teri zarurat hai "

"sabke apne apne tarike aur tarkiben hai sach chupane ke..
koi bina khushi muskura raha hai..
to koi toot ke bhi aansuon me nahi bahta"

"kaya koi dawa asar karegi ?
kaise koi dua kaam aayegi..
har pal naya dard hai..
har pal nayi chahat hai..
har baar wahi tu hai..
har baar wahi khuda hai"

"jaane kitne kisse hain..
jaane kitni kahaniyan hain..
tere bin sab adhoore hain
tere bin sab adhoore hain"

"meri khushi meri muskurahaton me mat dhundh..
na mere gham tujhe aansuon me milenge..
sabko apna razdar nahi banati main "

"tere intezar me bhi kuch baat to hai..
kisi aur se mulaqaton se bhi wo behtar hai "

" wajah chahne ki tujhe ek bhi nahi mere pass
par tarike hazaron hain "

" behtareen libaas me aaya hai ishq is baar..
lagta hai na nahi kah paungi...
ishq "tujh sa" hoke aaya hai "

" jab bhi koi dua qabool nahi hoti...
sochti hu ya to dua galat hai ..
ya fir khuda koi aur "

" is bebasi ki intehaan to dekh
na tujhe apnane ka koi zariya hai
na tujhe bhool jane ki koi tarqeeb "

" is tanhai ka ehsaas jaanti hu main mere dost..
sabka hona ek taraf ..
tera na hona ek taraf "

Monday, 26 November 2012

thoughts :)



Dard se dard nahi hota
Dard kisne diya ye soch ke aansu behte hain
Dushman mere me himmat nahi mujhe khatam karde
Ye  Dosto ka behrupiya hona hai jo jaanleva hai
Kis zamaane me hoon pata nahi
Kisi k ghar ka jalna kisi ke liye aatishbaazi hai
Na jaane kitni jhuth zehan me hai logon ke
agar koi sach bole to yaqeen koi karta nahi
Jaane kaisi andhi duniya hai
Sirf wahi dekhti h jo dekhna chahti hai
Sachai buri hai to nazarandaaz hoti hai
khoobsurat jhuth ho to use khareedne k liye...
 khud ko bechne ko tyaar rahte hain
Jaane kaise log sochte hain
Khuda jaane sochte bhi hain ke nahi ......


Friday, 19 October 2012

Sawal Jawab

kya tum mere bhagwan ho ?
wahi jise main mahsoos karti hu..zindagi ke sath....
kya tumhe bhi khushi aur gham mehsoos hota hai ?
kya tum bhi thand aur garmi me farak bata sakte ho ?
kya kabhi kabhi tumhara bhi man karta hai ki kisi se pucho ki aage kya hone wala hai ?
ya fir tumhe sab pata hai ..kyunki tum bhagwan ho ?
kya tumne ye sab banaya hai jo main aas pass dekh paati hoon ?
kya tumhe bhi apni banayi cheeje kabhi napasand hoti hain ?
kya tum apni galti maan kar use sudhar lete ho ? 
ya fir tum galti hi nahi karte kabhi ...kyunki tum bhagwan ho ?
kya main  is duniya ka ek aisa hissa hoon jiske hone ya na hone se farak nahi padta....
ya fir main jaruri hoon ...sirf isiliye ki main khud hi ek duniya hoon ?
kya mera duniya aur apne ko samajhne ka tarika galat hai ?
kya ye sab jinko main dekhti hu mere apne hain kyunki ham sabko tumne banaya hai ?
ya fir ham sab ka apna alag bhagwan hai ?
kya aisa hai ki tum har kisi se alag jubaan me baat karte ho ?
kya main moslem hoti to tum alag hote ?
ya fir tum sirf dharam se bandhe nahi aur sabke bhagwan ho ?
kya karu jab koi mujhe dukhi kare ?
gussa karu ki galat hua ya fir bhool jau jo bhi hua ?
ya fir sab tumhare bharose chhod du kyunki tum bhagwan ho ?
kya usi dil ki har baat sunti rahu jo zinda rakhe hai ?
ya acha rahega agar ye maan lu ki tumhi ho jo ander se mehsoos hote ho ?
ya fir har jagah tumhi ho ?
agar haan to fir to ham dono ek jaise hain bilkul...
tum mere bhagwan ho....main tumhari insaan hoon !! :) :) 

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Khoobsurat Khayal....

Ek zindagi hoti hai jo khyalon me hoti hai...
kya haseen hoti hai...kya khoob hoti hai.....
aur ek zindagi hoti hai jo haqiqat hoti hai....
agar kismat achhi hai to jeene layak hoti hai....
na to bas kya kahoon ki kya hi hoti hai...
aksar sochti hoon ki agar khayalon wali us zindagi ko jeena pad jae to wo bhi badtar ho jaegi...
is duniya me  kisi khyal ka aana use kharab kar hi deta hai.....
yahan bhagwan ke avtar bhi aate hain to unhe marna padta hai...
ab khud ko hi soch lo ...kya the tum aane se pahle is duniya me...
ek khoobsurat khayal...ek umeed maa baap ki khushi ki...
aur agar sab ki maane to koi hai is duniya me jo tumhare liye bana hai..aur shayad tumhare intezar me bhi ho
shayad uske bhi kuch khayal honge tumhare liye.....
khud jaante ho ki tum wo khayal nahi ho....
kisi aur ka to chodo tum khud ka khayal bhi nahi ho....
mauka mile to tum bhi khud ko badalna chahoge...kisi khubsurat khayal ke sath...
aisa nahi ki mauke milte nahi....aisa nahi ki tum thoda bahot khud ko badalte nahi....
par wahi fir se hota hai....dimag ka nikla khayal jab sach ka roop leta hai to badsurat ho hi jata hai....
aur tum fir se apne aap ko badalne ki jarurat mahsoos karte ho....
itna sab sochne ke baad dimag me ye aata hai ki 
banane wale ka khayal kya tha hame banate samay....kya jo sab ho raha hai wo hame us sachai me tabdeel kar paega jo wo hamse chahta hai ?
kya ham kabhi ye maan payenge ki ham wahin hai jo hame hona chahiye ?
kya jo bhi hai ...jaisa bhi hai wo insaan sahi hai ??
kya ham sab kamiyon ko bhool ke  ya fir ye maan ke ki unhe badla nahi ja sakta ...ek dusre ke sath tahjeeb se nahi rah sakte ?
kya thodi kam khoobsurat sachai ek behad khoobsurat khayal se achi nahi ??
kya jo nahi hai uske liye rona itna jaruri hai ki jo h use dekh ke muskuraya na jae ??
koi sawal nahi poocha jo jawab mile....
koi jawab hai hi nahi jo mile....



Tuesday, 21 August 2012

zindagi !!

ek waqt aisa bhi tha jab ishq tha ...aur tu saath bhi tha...
ab to jo hai bas naam ki zindagi hai..
kuch lamhe aise bhi the jab ehsaas tha...zinda hone ka...
ab to bas sab batate hai ki main thik hoon...
ek waqt tha jab haqeeqat sapno se badh ke thi...
ab to jo b hai bas ek bura sapna hai...
ek waqt tha jab khuda se kuch maangne ki jarurat nahi thi...
ab to poora jahan maangu to bhi kam padta hai
wo jo ek shakhs tha tu jo mera apna....
wo jo ek umeed thi jo meri apni thi....
ab to jo hai bas ajnabee hain...
tha kuch aisa tere pass hone se.... dil ke darwaje pe dastak sirf khushi deti thi...
ab to jo bhi hai sirf dard sa sannatta hai ....
na jane kyu taseer badli hai waqt ki..
na jaane kyu tu bhi uske sath badal gaya hai....
ab to jo nahi badla wo sirf meri muhobbat hai 
ek waqt tha jab is muhobbat pe naaz tha....
ab to jo bhi hai wo sirf ek sawal hai ki maine aisa kyu kiya apne sath...
chahe jo b hua...jo bhi aage ho...
ab to jo bhi hai ye waqt hai jisse mujhe umeed hai !!!!

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Dikkat hai !!


Paidaish se pahle hi maa baap ko mere ladki hone se dikkat hai...
 Main 18 saal se kam hoon to mujhe apni choti umar aur allahdpan se dikkat hai ...
aur agar main 25 se jyada hoon to mujhe har wo cheej chahiye jo mujhe jawan dikha sake..
Agar mere physical dimension  aur proportion curvy nahi hain to main badkismat hoon...
mujhe push-up lingerie aur botox ki jarurat hai...
agar main thodi bhi bharma gayi hoon to maine jeene ka haq hi kho diya hai....
ab mujhe khana peena chod ke marne ke intejar ki jarurat hai
Bhagwan ne zulm kiya hai mujhe sanwla rang deke...
ab to mujhe apne chehre se aur har nazar jo mujhpe padti hai us se dikkat hai...
lekin agar kuch jyada gora bana diya to wo b koi baddua se kam nahi....
mujhe golden hone ke liye tanning ki jarurat hai..
Ab khoobsurat hona hi sab kuch nahi hota....
mujhe apne jaan pehchaan walo  ke mujhse ameer hone se dikkat hai
Oh aaj to main saj dhaj ke bahar nikli thi...
agar kisi badshakal gareeb ne ghoora mujhe to wo badtameej hai..
lekin agar stylish metrosexual dude  mujhe dekhe to wo tareef mujhe pasand hai ..
Mujhe inspire  nahi karti Kiran Bedi ki mehnat aur uska iconic hona...
par roadies  aur splits villa ka hissa na ban pana mere liye suicidal hai
Main kaun hoon ?? Main hoon bhi ki nahi hoon ?
Haan main aajkal hi har ladki me dikh jaati hu...
Haan main duniya ki soch hoon..
aur mujhe is soch se dikkat hai !!

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Tijarat ya Ishq ?

Kal main khush thi..aaj nahi hoon..
fark sirf muhobbat ka hai...
kal tak sab kuch khubsurat tha duniya me....aaj kuch b nahi hai,
fark sirf tere na hone ka hai
waqt tha jab har shay ko faayde nuksaan me dekhti thi main b ....
aur aaj sab kuch kho ke b khush hone ka haq mile to kam lagta hai..
kisi mehtaab k liye apne  shams ko girwi rakh diya ..
zindagi ki kuch pal ki kadwahat kam karne k liye...
tujhse jhuthi khushi ka mitha zeher le liya 
apne aapse naraj is qadar thi ki khud se qabil tujhko maan liya 
koi mujhe be-waqoof tajir kahe to koi achha aashiq...
fark sirf lafzo ke fer ka hai....
main badal gayi hu teri pehchaan se pare....par tu waisa hi hai....
fark  mere insaan aur tera sirf ek yaad hone ka hai
aaj bhi apne aapko galat maan lene ki himmat nahi..
aaj bhi tujhe ek kamtar insaan maan lena zurm lagta hai
mamla ek padri ke kaafir hone ka hai 
ab tu hi bata ki main khud ko kya kahu....
ek tajir jise sauda karna bhi na aaya ...
ya fir ek aashiq jo muhobbat ne siwa kuch ni jaanta !!

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Balance of tears and smiles !!!!!

With every drop of tear that comes in my eyes.....
some of which i shed in solitude ...and rest of them which are swallowed..
I curse the moments when i was not me....
With every memory that relates to you....
some of which make me feel loved...and most of which reminds me of a emotional fool that lived in me once...
I feel sorry for the heart that cried....
With every moment that passes without you....
some of which are not so happy ...and most of which are actually sad....
I feel that i can at least live without you ...if not happily....
With every passing breath that assures me of life...
some of which are habitual ...and most of which are actually sighs...
I feel you are going away...away till a point of no return....so far away that i wont be able to see you even with my eyes closed....not even in my dreams or nightmares....not even in recent or distant memories...not even in dark or light....not even in love or hatred....
soon you will become a known stranger....someone whom i knew i can never know....
soon you will become part of the world that does not know me...that does not belong to me...
because you will never try to come back....because you will never value the air..or water..or anything which u get without an effort.....
and that day i will be be happy...as happy as i can be.....just because after sometime I will realize that you were not the reason for my happiness... but I am....that nothing worth possessing can be possessed ....that its ok to shed few tears now as you are gone.... because you gave me few smiles when you were around !!!! :) :)